This has been a really strange and difficult year. Being an adult sucks. It has some perks, but honestly, if I knew adulthood was going to be like THIS, I would have taken my sweet time. Being 25 and having been pushed out of the nest a bit later than most, I think this stage of my life is hitting me hard and later than a majority of people I know. The post-grad life is weird, and many people have told me so. They kept telling me college was the best 4 years of their lives, and after the 20394th time I was like "Shuddapppp." But they was right.
I think one of the main reasons this year felt so difficult was because up until 22, I had somewhat of a direction. In elementary, you can't wait until middle school. Middle school, you're scared but also excited to be in high school. In high school, you freak out and apply for colleges like it's a life or death situation. You go to college and then it's like, Oh shoot. What now. I thought I wanted to be a UN diplomat and save the world, but now I'm like.. nah. So what do I do... And it's this eternal question, going back and forth, pondering and analyzing and wondering if this is what you were meant to do with the rest of your life. I know you can't have all the answers now, but there's still this sense of urgency or lacking if you don't have SOME kind of direction. I thought I did, but I'm starting to second guess myself.
All this psycho babble is making me thirsty (for life, and physically). So out of boredom and because I surf the net all the time, I turn to the internet for some kind of answer. And then I got super envious of these people on FVF. Freunde von Freunden means.. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm jealous of every person that's featured on this site. Some of the visual stories and interviews make me feel a bit insignificant and like I'll never have that life, but on the flip side.. they inspire me. I know I have a long way to go, but you consistently see that it takes hard work, passion, and a great community to get to where you want to be. I don't need a lot of money nor a beautiful, Williamsburg, super decorated apartment (although, cmon.. that'd be nice). I just want to be content where I am with the people around me and the work I do.
A Kind of Guise is one of those stores/stories that I love. It's also one that I'd like for myself, but in my own way and time, I suppose.
Also, these guys. I meannnnn, how could you not. One is a photographer, the other a jewelry maker. They surf. They live in Williamsburg in a friggin sweet place. They got a cat. They're cute and have a handknit hat company together. BAH if I were to make a movie about myself and the life I wanted, it would have looked like that!!!! But also, I realize that everything looks more romantic and wonderful in pictures. I'm sure they work their butts off, but also enjoy what they're doing. I know for a fact that those who work hard to do what they love and make a living off of it while trying to live life, mature, and experience the world as a creative-minded person does... it's super hard. I get it. But they look dang good while doing it. And there's a satisfying warmth that they seem to have because they're living off of the stuff they love.